Are you a master of a one-way conversation? Are you able to stay still for at least a half an hour? Are you never sleeping with your feet out of the covers? Then you are definitely a cat owner or just wanna be one! This compilation of skills is for you: read and decide whether you are your cat’s master or slave 🙂
1. Petting your cat in just the right place, so they don’t lash out and attack you.
2. Which means avoiding the stomach at ALL costs.
3. And knowing the difference between what is too much and just enough attention.
4. Having a one-way conversation and being completely fine with it.
5. Sneezing in the most discreet way possible so you don’t scare the living daylights out of your cat.
6. And eating your food strategically so you don’t have to share it with incoming cat paws.
7. Making peace with the fact your bed is no longer your bed.
8. Convincing yourself that a bite means they love you.
9. And that a deathly stare doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going to kill you.
10. Staying verrrrryyyyy still when a cat has decided to sit on you.
11. And holding your pee for as long as you possibly can.
12. Accepting that the bathroom will probably never be a private place again.
13. Typing with one hand because your cat’s decided to take a nap on one of them while you’re on your laptop.
14. Or having very limited ability to work at all, and somehow still making it work.
15. Never sleeping with your feet out of the covers because you’ll definitely wake up to kitty sneak attack.
16. Using your cat’s stomach as a cat pillow but never putting enough weight on them that you’ll hurt their lil’ stomachs.
17. Accepting that you’ll have to get up at least three times before your cat decides whether they actually want to be let out or not.
18. Becoming completely accustomed to the presence of cat hairs everywhere.
19. And recognizing that this will probably be a distinguishable part of your ~look~.
20. Becoming an expert nickname inventor.